Monday, June 10, 2013

Creative Crossroads

I find myself at an interesting junction in my life.  A few months back I turned 60 years old.  My age doesn't bother me that much but my changing attitude does-to a degree.

I draw.  I made a career of it (of a sorts) for 25 years as a graphic designer.  I now teach drawing and Commercial Art at a local high school.  I retire in two years.

Over the years I've tried my hand at creating unique stories and characters and I believe I have.

Unfortunately after numerous attempts I can't get any of them published.  Those people that have read them or seen them are blown away by the unique nature of the concepts and would love to see each proceed as continuing series.

But, after so many years of trudging away making a living my heart is just not in it.

I've never been one to draw just to draw.  The Drawing Muse has never sprinkled me with its magic drawing compulsion dust.  When I draw, it's for a purpose-not for enjoyment and that might just be the problem.

Over the years I've seen other artists continue to grow and polish their art and achieve some degree of success.  I, on the other hand, simply do not possess the 'umph' to sit at a drawing board for hours and let my imagination proliferate.

Practicality is my downfall.  I don't see the point of drawing something everyone else is drawing.  Comic books?  I'd be bored after a few issues and would soon run out of ideas as to how to layout pages.  Comic strips?  Day after day drawing the same characters-oh, the horror!  Writing children books-that would get old really fast.

No, I've come to the point in my life that unless the opportunity to publish my creations literally runs into me face-to-face I have no intention of pursuing any more wild speculative goose chases.

At this stage of my life I'm interested in finding old comic books and reading each issue.  I want to recapture some of the fun and excitement I felt as a young boy and for a moment through away all the trappings of old age and the cares that a long life tends to snare one in.

I don't ask for much.  No fame, no fortune-just a good life filled with love and contentment and when it's all over to quietly, serenely, pass on to the next stage.  Who could ask for more?